"Failing at Patronage, the Artist Experiments with Corporate Sponsorship"
Having closely studied 15th-century paintings for the better part of his career, the Dutch artist Botch was determined to start a 20th-century revival of the richly colored oil-on-wood technique that characterized the earlier works of his countrymen. He felt that he could attract contributions to support himself and his art in the same way that medieval painters did, by incorporating the donors' portraits into the work.
In his enthusiasm he accidentally oversold subscriptions to the first version of the picture shown here, as a result of which he was forced to pack 17 head-and-shoulders portraits into a diminishing amount of free space. Alas, he had very poor skills as a portraitist, as the present work shows. The initial unveiling was met with such hostility and violence against his person that he was forced to refund all the subscriptions, which left him in a dire financial position regarding his room rent and car payments , not to mention the running tab at the art store.
Botch struck upon the idea of applying for corporate sponsorship while watching Wide World of Sports on television. He reasoned that if NASCAR competitors could land major backing for simply driving a car around in a circle, corporations should be more than willing to sponsor the renaissance of an artistic style. He filled out the appropriate forms, and lo and behold, got his funding.
He did not count on a reaction from an entirely different quarter, however. Immediately after the unveiling of the present version of the painting he was lynched by a fundamentalist vigilante committee.
Acquired through a generous donation from Sofa-Size Original Art!™ of Singapore.
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