"Attempt at Rock Jam Session goes Horribly Wrong"

Georges Onthetour

One of the least popular Depressionists is Onthetour, who spent his career as a documentary rock groupie, usually choosing to follow bands that never made it to superstar status, like Strawberry Alarm Clock and The Peanut Butter Conspiracy. Most of his works have either been lost, dispersed through garage sales, burned as part of Christian Fundamentalist indignation rituals or simply evaporating from lack of interest.

The artist thought his his artistic nirvana had been attained when he heard about the Colossi of Rock Superstravaganza XVIII, an assembly of rock artists unparalleled in the known universe. These were performers Onthetour had always wanted to immortalize in oils but was always frustrated in achieving due to the cost of admission tickets with decent views of the stage.

For this super show he actually took a part-time job as an elbow bender at a noodle factory to raise sufficient cash for a front row seat and another for his easel and paintbox. Imagine his surprise and joy when Roger Daltrey of The Who, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope of Insane Clown Posse, and two members of The Village People announced they would attempt an ensemble performance despite the obvious contrasts in their styles.

All went well until the sudden eruption of fisticuffs  between Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope as the ensemble did a cover of the group's hit "What is a Juggalo?" Apparently simmering long-term differences over the relative superiority of  Faygo Redpop and Faygo 60/40 came to a head. Appalled, Roger Daltrey on the left attempted to continue the performance, while the members of The Village People thought the dust-up was hilarious as well as an opportune moment for some serious flirting.

Onthetour's detailed rendition of the incident was confiscated as evidence, but disappeared from the police property room, later turning up among the effects of the late Michael Jackson.

 

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