"Atlantean Robot Guardian?"

Enthusiastically endorsed as a genuine artifact by the American Society for the Study of Atlantis, its People and its Culture (ASSAPC), the piece has no provenance, having been hauled up by a dredger at one of the putative sites of the lost civilization. The worker who found it, Phineas Waterbloom, at first thought it was a crack pipe, but he lost interest when he couldn't figure out where to put the rock. He put it up on eBay, where it was spotted by Iggy Donnelly, great grandson of Ignatius L Donnelly, who had spun the entire history and civilization of Atlantis out of three lines from one of the dialogues of the philosopher Plato.

As head of the ASSAPC Iggy immediately spotted the object as an artifact of lost Atlantis and purchased it for the grand sum of $2.95 American. After exhaustive testing in his basement laboratory at his mother's house, he discovered it was slightly radioactive, which was all he needed to develop its history, function and purpose.

As he writes in his article for Beyond Reality magazine, "All of a sudden it became obvious to me: this could only be a model of one of the plutonium-powered robotic guards that kept Atlantis safe from whoever was going around marauding in those days. The international symbol for radioactivity I enhanced from the original and the obvious cooling tower on the figure's back says it all. These tireless guardians with their super-senses and super-strength were the creation of the only people who could have accomplished such a feat back then, aside from the inhabitants of Lemuria and Mu."

The Gallery of the Unidentifiable was able to acquire this fascinating object in trade for another rare find, an overcoat once belonging to Bigfoot the Sasquatch of Bend, Oregon.

 

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